If one thing, I’m learning. A lot. So much of my life is going unshared (at least on the web) because so much revolves around dates that are not to be shared. But here in the waiting, I am learning.
Learning to communicate, 15 minutes here, an hour there. Video chat after a month and a half, picture updates in port. How to fill a day for the girls with no husband in the afternoon or evening to fill those moments where I just need a break. How a mother can so quickly find an unwanted edge in her voice after one thousand too many repeated requests and knees to the face, as gymnastics take place all over a Mama just trying to send a quick email to a Daddy.
How important connection with a friend is – how long the days with no other adult conversation are – how to give myself grace for the days we watch three movies before lunchtime because we have been up for so many hours, and head out for a quick run to the park before anyone has a meltdown.
Learning about making new friends, and opening up to new friends, and being vulnerable and asking for help. How to take trains, how to be lucky enough to find a friend who can decipher the train schedules, how to say “excuse me” in another language every three minutes while trying to wind a stroller through tight crowds of busy, busy people. How to walk, and walk, and walk, finding beautiful bits of nature hidden behind buildings. Learning how to tell little old ladies on the elevators that the girls are “ichi” and “ni,” not twins, even though they look the part more and more each day.
Learning to be satisfied with our path right now. Learning to be patient as weeks and months drag on, rejoicing in a marriage strengthening even though an ocean is between us.